It’s hard enough to forgive someone who insulted you or ruined your reputation by slanderous lies, or who was unloving to you, who slighted you, who showed disdain to you when they were supposed to love you…but how do you forgive someone you trusted with your whole heart and soul, like a husband who leaves you for another woman, leaving you with children and a house that is not feeling like home, who stole or shattered every dream you ever had and ripped out your heart and threw it to the wind?
It’s devastating to say the least, and I’m sure you can think of many other situations that are just as devastating, and to FORGIVE just seems like the ultimate insult to our pain and what we’re feeling.
I had just counseled a woman earlier in the week whose husband left her, and who was tortured with many of the enemy’s lies about not being enough, or that there was something she could have done. She had been in such pain for many months and yet was getting no peace, trying to make sense of something that she had not control over and just DID NOT MAKE SENSE.
DEPRESSION COMES FROM TRYING TO BE…or DO something you cannot be or do.
I liken this stress to the possible stress of a man who is trying to push my house across the yard. I imagine how frustrating it may be to try harder and harder to do something you can’t do and the more you try, the more energy you exert, the more frustrated and hopelessness you would feel, and eventually, the body and mind stress would just be too much.
FORGIVING DAILY OFFENSES
I had been struggling with some issues in my household that were continued, daily offenses and some things that were just wrong, sinful, unloving, and issues that could cost us greatly like in the way of disobedience and effected finances. I was up and down for many months, forgiving and then taking back my bitterness as I felt helpless and yet controlled, unloved and unable to do anything about the way I was treated and unable to do anything about the catastrophe I foresaw.
Just when I thought I was doing well and pressing into the Lord’s presence and peace more and more, I felt yet tortured, with a running tally of offenses before my eyes night and day, even in my SLEEP the movie kept playing, twirling around like a spinning tornado that would not end.
I finally asked the Lord to take this from me, to give me strategy for what’s going on and how to get free from it. I heard His words to look up Matthew 18:34, where Jesus is talking about a judge who forgave a debtor a great debt, and then the debtor was out free, another sinned against him and he did not show mercy to the man. The end of that story was the promise was that because he did not show mercy that he was shown, he was “turned over to the jailers to be tortured until he could pay back all he owed”.
In a very real sense, I felt as if I was turned over to the jailer, in bondage and tortured night and day in my unforgivenss. I had to verbally confess my sin of hidden pride and thinking of myself, take back all ground I gave to the enemy and to confess forgiveness for this person.
HOW MANY TIMES? Well I heard the Lord ask me the next day to look up Matthew 18:22 the next morning; “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times”. It meant that I may have to do those steps of forgiveness daily, hourly, or however many times it took until I could finally walk in freedom and not even PICK UP AN OFFENSE, letting them slide over my head for my “Daddy” to pick up for me.
Trying to heal yourself won’t work. You need to identify and voice your pain and then turn it over to the lord for HIM to heal. But when you cannot lay something down, then you may need to verbally forgive the offender, even if it doesn’t make sense, even if you do not FEEL like doing it, even if forgiving them seems the most offensive thing to your heat that you can do.
GIVE IT UP…before it Kills you.
Alexander Lloyd, author of The Healing Codes writes in his book that as the directors of a cancer clinic, they have not found one case of cancer where the person did not have a root of bitterness and unforgiveness. I have a very close friend who had cancer who finally realized that there was something that she did not forgive herself for, for MANY years and now believes it finally at her up inside. A cancer cell is a cell with a hard protein shell that the body just struggles to kill, and when even the surgeon general admits that 90% of disease is linked to stress, and if you are so stressed out by some root of bitterness that won’t be resolved, can you imagine how ineffective your immune system would be to heal what it’s supposed to heal?
If you find that you may be struggling with some root of bitterness, either in your distant past or currently, I urge you to get on your knees fast and ask the Lord to take this from you. Follow the steps in the 2-minute cleanse to openly release that and take back ground from the enemy. If you are not sure what you’re feeling but have struggled with DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, SADNESS, or maybe just feeling you DESERVE MORE (like food, companionship, better treatment, to be recognized, etc…) then I would ask you to find quiet time with the Lord and ask Him where that is coming from, if there is some hidden pain or event that triggered hurt or offense. When He reveals that (and HE WILL), then walk through the steps in the 2-minute cleanse to yield that to the Lord and receive healing.
Jesus says if we confess our sins to one another we will be healed. (James 5:6) If you have a “safe place” to share that, please do so as the Lord can be taken at His word. it’s promised.
Other articles which may help:
Find His grace…and REST IN HIS PEACE. ask for it if you do not have it
The Healing Source